Mental Models #1: The Suitcase

Growing up, I attended a Catholic Church that rotated its readings over a three-year cycle. It was a great chance for me to hear a large portion of the Bible. As you know from previous newsletters, the parables that Jesus told had a profound impact on me. The parable of the servants and talents, in particular, has shaped the way I live my life.

The parables gave me mental models that still guide me today. But I’ve also developed new ones for myself and others to make sense of the world around us. One of the clearest examples is a model I presented to my students.

Why Letting Go Is Hard

While teaching, we discussed the difference between scientific facts and truths. We looked at examples like Pluto once being called a planet or bloodletting once being accepted as medicine. These were considered “facts” at the time, but new knowledge showed they no longer explained reality.

This led to the question: Why is it so difficult to let go of beliefs, even after they’ve been proven wrong?

The Mental Model: Man and Suitcase

Here’s the model I gave my students.

As we live, we pick things up—beliefs, facts, jobs, assumptions, possessions. They all need a place. Some become part of the man; others belong in the suitcase.

• The man is the core identity and convictions that define who we are. Changing these is painful and life-altering. For me, this includes my Catholic faith, being a husband and father, and my temperament and personality.
• The suitcase holds the things that are important but not core to our identity. They can be set down and picked up again as life changes. Clothes, where I live, the car I drive—these all belong in the suitcase.

Misplaced Weight

This model helped me realize how easy it is to confuse the two.

When I was a teacher, that role became part of “the man.” So when I later put on an HVAC uniform, I felt like I had let people down. But being a teacher wasn’t meant to be my core identity—it should have stayed in the suitcase.

I’ve also seen others make their sports team part of the man. A tough loss wrecks their week. Others do it with possessions, career, or political affiliation. These things are not inherently bad, but when they become part of the man, losing them feels like losing yourself.

Living With Freedom

As men, we need to step back and ask: What have I made part of the man? What belongs in the suitcase instead?

Some things rightly belong at the core of who we are. Others should stay in the suitcase—valuable, but not defining. And some things don’t belong at all. They need to be thrown away because they hold us back from becoming who God calls us to be.

Growing requires us to set things down and pick up something better. This mental model prepares us for those moments.

This Week’s Challenge

• Examine your life and beliefs.
• Ask: What is truly part of me? Should it be there? Should it move to the suitcase—or even the trash?
• Choose one thing this week to put in its rightful place.

The man must remain strong. The suitcase is meant to be carried lightly. And both should be ordered toward the truth.