The Power Hidden in Plain Sight

One of my favorite things about teaching is relating what we learned to real life. When I taught biology, I often discussed the many challenges mothers face during pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for their children. At the end of class, I would tell students to go home, hug their mom, and say thank you.

Later, I was happy to hear that some of them actually did.

What excited me most was hearing that some of the boys had done this. There is something special about the mother–son relationship. Nothing truly replaces it, and for many boys it becomes a key source of stability and identity. I know this from personal experience.

A Mother Who Anchors

My mother reminds me of Nitzevet, David’s mother, as portrayed in the recent David film. She encouraged and inspired me consistently. When I was down on myself, she lifted me up. When I wanted to quit, she urged me to try a little longer. During my childhood, she was my rock. With her, I always knew who I was.

In the film, we see Nitzevet playing that same role. When David is troubled by being anointed as the next king, she reminds him of God’s plan and urges patience. When Saul hunts an innocent David, there is a beautiful scene where mother and son sing to God together. David asks why God would allow this suffering; Nitzevet responds with confidence that her God will not abandon them. Again and again, she reaffirms David in his identity.

Mary’s Faithful Presence

We see this same formational strength in the relationship between Mary and Jesus.

Mary consistently encourages and faithfully follows her Son. At the wedding at Cana, she quietly prompts the beginning of His public ministry. She follows Him as He preaches. And at the end—when nearly everyone else has fled—she remains with Him through His Passion. She shares in His suffering and later rejoices in His glory at the Resurrection.

Mary’s presence is steady, faithful, and formative. She does not compete with her Son’s mission; she strengthens it.

Redefining Strength and Success

This ability to encourage, anchor, and inspire is often neglected in today’s world. We tend to view these traits as weak, soft, or secondary. We sometimes see them as underachieving—as if allowing someone else to succeed means taking a back seat.

This is not only false; it ignores the importance of the role.

We wouldn’t dismiss a coach because he isn’t physically playing the game. Nor would we say a teacher wastes his life educating children. Formation is not inferior to action—it makes action possible.

Success comes in many forms. Sometimes it is visible, public, and applauded. More often, it is quiet and sustained, built through small daily acts that compound over time. This kind of success is rarely flashy, but it is the kind that builds strong men, healthy families, and enduring societies.

The Ripple Effect of Formation

The encouragement Nitzevet gives David helps form one of Israel’s greatest kings. Mary’s faith and presence accompany Christ through His Passion and into the salvation of souls. The love of my own mother shaped the man writing this newsletter.

Their influence did not end with them. It rippled outward—into a united kingdom, into redemption itself, and into lives they would never personally see.

That is success.

Formation Is Not Accidental

So, where does that leave us?

First, we must learn to recognize and appreciate different kinds of success. For every actor on screen, there are ten or twenty crew members behind the scenes. Not everyone can—or should—live in the limelight. But everyone has the opportunity to form the people around them, especially women.

That opportunity exists simply through our presence.

The question isn’t whether we are forming others.
The real question is whether we are forming them intentionally or by default.

As a father, I can help my daughters recognize their value and their gifts. They may not possess physical strength or highly visible success, but they can win in countless quiet ways—by encouraging, steadying, and strengthening the people around them. When those gifts are intentionally formed and affirmed, they become forces that shape souls and echo into eternity.

A Final Reflection

Take time this week to consider the influence you carry.

Who are you forming—deliberately or unintentionally—through your words, your attention, and your presence?

Formation is happening every day.
The question is whether we are choosing it.

Forge Ahead

Anvil: the place of formation.
Arrow: the mission we’re sent on.

The world needs more men formed in virtue.
Forward this to a brother who’s ready to grow.

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